This week has been quite hectic for me. I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
I had plans to do a tonne of things around the house, but really only managed to do a bit of laundry, a minute amount of cleaning, and cut the grass.
Yes, I'm still not working, as per my doctors orders. To be honest, if he won't let me go back to work soon, I don't think I'll have a job to go back to. Although, that may also be for the best. Who knows, right?
That's a question I'm not sure I want to know the answer too, just yet. I still get really uncomfortable thinking about work. I can't explain it.
My wife/girlfriend and I have also been trying to figure out how to get some extra money, so her daughter, my stepdaughter can go on a school exchange trip to Germany.
Since I'm STILL not working, our home has no become a Single-Income-Family. Not too much fun when you've been used to living on pretty much DOUBLE the income, right? And, as per my doctors orders, he keeps telling me that I shouldn't apply of Unemployment Insurance, because everything will be covered by Workers Compensation. At this point, it doesn't mater, because the money has all but run out.
My wonderful stepdaughter, as bright as she is, even started a fund raising website, to try to make some money for the trip to Germany she wishes to make next school year. Please feel free to check it out, and share that site, or this blog with your friends.
Tomorrow (Saturday), I'm officiating (yes I'm ordained) a wedding of two friends.
It'll be a fun, and joyous day for everyone involved. So yes, I'm a wee bit nervous about that too. You know everyone's greatest fear... Public speaking. There will be about 80-ish people there. All but just a small handful I don't know. But then again, this is THEIR wedding, not mine. I know deep down it'll work out just fine. But still, I'm pretty fucking nervous!
Now the real reason I write here: Mental Illness
Yes, today is World Mental Illness Day. To be honest, I was completely unaware of this until this morning, watching a morning news show, on TV. I guess that just goes to show that I'm either not in the loop, or mental illness isn't getting the coverage it needs. There's still a pretty big stigma attached to it. What 'normals' don't understand is that mental illness is just that: An illness. Something you can't see. Like Cancer. You can't 'see' Cancer, yet the sufferer more often than not knows it's there. The same things with Mental Health. However, like Cancer, there are still some people out there that don't REALLY understand what's wrong. The don't KNOW they need help, or they won't go to get that help, because of the stigma society still places on those 'crazy people'.
I can tell you right now, without a word of a lie, that if it wasn't for me ASKING for help from my doctor, and talking with my friends and family about my Mental Illness, I would be writing this blog from a pine box. That's just how bad it has gotten for me in the past. Thankfully, I got the help I needed, and I have a very strong support system around me. Lest I forget the medication I'm on. Despite my dose being doubled not too long ago, I'm still not sure if it's having that BIG of an affect on me. I'm still a bit on the glum side, and still don't like the thought of going back to work. I'm not sure of I'd feel the same way if I got a different job, or if it's the whole 'leaving the house' thing. Almost like Agoraphobia. I guess time will tell. I'm still waiting to see a shrink.... But then again, I'm moving at the speed of Canadian Mental Health, which certainly isn't as fast as one would like.
Keep smiling!
