Blue Christmas

So, it's a couple of days before Christmas. 
I haven't posted here in a while, (as I've been concentrating more on my other blog: stekelsview), so I thought I would write something today. 

I've been spending a lot of time researching for my other blog, and obviously not spending as much time with the people who mean the most to me. 

My wife/girlfriend just celebrated her birthday, and I was unable to give her the birthday she deserves.  Words cannot express how bad that made me feel.  Needless to say, I've been quite down about that lately. 
However, yesterday, for just a few hours, I was in the best mood I'd been in for God knows how long.  I don't know why.  It just kind of happened.  And, as quickly as the unexpected good mood came, it went.  Back to a normal/iffy feeling. 

I told you about two-ish months ago that my doctor has added a new medication to my daily cocktail; Wellbutrin.  I will admit it's helped a fair bit.  However, I also confess that I haven't been nearly as active as I should be.  But then again, that's what a New Years Resolution is all about, right?  That means, shortly before the New Year, or shortly after, I'll be off to the local YMCA to get a membership not just for me, but for our entire family.  Yep, that's the plan...  Whip all of us into better shape. 

Lest we forget: I also have a nine year old son, who for the first time in his life, I won't be seeing him on Christmas Day.  I won't be getting him until Boxing Day, until the end of The Holidays.  It'll be good.  We managed to get him all of the things he asked for, and I'm sure Santa will be getting him a few good things too.  As a matter of fact, all the kids will end up smiling quite a bit on Christmas Morning. 

Yes, this should be the happiest time of the year.  But, for many of us, it's not.  It's not that it's generally the most expensive time of year, it's often referred to as 'The Winter Blues'.    It just happens.  However, for us already suffering from Depression, it hits us a lot harder.  Unless you've dealt with it personally, you really don't understand it.  It's kind of like a drug addict - You can't understand a users mind, unless you've been down that dark road yourself. 

I'm off to see my doctor this afternoon, for another 'mental health' check-up.  I imagine it'll just be the same dong and dance as always.  He'll ask me how I am, I'll try to sugar-coat it, but he's much too smart to fall for that.  He'll then tell me I need to get more exorcise, and that it's less than a month until I finally get to see a real head-shrinker. 
I'll keep you posted, as best I can.


Keep smiling!