Day From Hell

So yesterday really sucked.  Not only am I still feeling horrible over my little mistake the other day, but to top things off: Yesterday, for maybe the third time in the last 18+ months), I forgot to take my medication (Cipralex) in the morning. 
Needless to say, the entire day was mortifying.  I thought everyone was talking about me behind my back.  I wasn't doing anything right at work.  I saw the president of the company there, and I was completely convinced he was there to personally fire me. 

I was in a bit of a rush yesterday morning, to get out of the house, and off to work.  I realised, about half-way to work (which is about a 40 minute drive from home), that I hadn't taken my daily dose of Cirpalex.  Once I realised I hadn't

forgotten my medication, I instantly was horrified.  I knew what the day would be like.  I half expected to curl up in the fetal position at work, and cry like a little girl.  That didn't happen. 
Although, I'm not going to lie:  There were several times throughout the day yesterday, that I just wanted to leave, and come home.  I didn't think my brain could handle the pressures. 
I knew the President wasn't there to fire me.  Deep down, I truly knew that.  However, I also 'knew' people were talking about me.  I don't know what they were 'saying', as their voices were just muffled sounds most of the time.  I know now, after being re-medicated for almost 30 hours now, that all those thoughts were just foolhardy.  But, that's just how much my brain depends on those Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. 

So yes, that's JUST how affective That drug is on my brain.  I used to swear up and down that I would never, in a million years take a mind altering chemical.  But guess what, This particular SSRI works.                  

                                                                                                     Escitalopram

So, there you go.  My first real BAD day in about eighteen months.  And, it was all because I forgot to take one tiny little pill when I got out of the shower yesterday morning.  Granted, it was about 4:45AM, but that's not a good enough excuse for me.  I have made it a habit of mine to take my medication after my shower, and before I brush my teeth.  Kind of like a routine.  A routine I don't stray from.
I shower every morning, as well as brush my teeth.

My day doesn't really seem to start, until I've had a shower, and brushed my teeth.  Kind of like your day doesn't start without a coffee, or cigarette?  That's just how I am.  I like routine.  Although, some people who know me, may argue otherwise.  But routine is good for me.  Because of the routine actions in my life, I was able to make it through the horrendous day I described above.  And, because of my routine days, I was able to differentiate between what I perceived as reality, and what was actual reality. 
Unfortunately, yesterday that was my reality.

Keep smiling!!