#SickNotWeak

Firstly, I'd like to apologize....  I haven't written here in a while.  The reason for that is sinple:  I've been way too busy.  That's not just a lame-duck excuse.  It's a fact.  Then again, being busy is always a good thing!  It's the down-time in life that makes it a bit harder to get out of bed in the morning.  But, we're well passed that now. 

I remember the days when all I wanted to do was sleep.  I would stay in bed, or laying down on the sofa most of the day.  The thing is, for the first few weeks, I thought nothing of it.  Then I started thinking about my ex-wife, who also suffers from Depression, and I was going through a lot of things she went through.  Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to figure out what was happening to me;  than I was getting sick, and needed to see my doctor.

That's a story I've told many times, and will likely tell again.  But not today.  Today is about being happy.  About being busy.  About keeping the demons away. 

As I've said before, one of the keys to keeping those demons away, is to keep busy.  Physical labour, or going to the gym regularly (daily), certainly helps. 
That's simply what I've tried to do with myself.  After being kicked, tortured, and basically shit upon by my Slefish and cowardly ex-girlfriend, I realised I needed to change the people I have in my life.  So, I've found myself with the perfect woman as my girlfriend.  She has wonderful children whom I love very much (and I think they kind of dig me too), not to mention my wonderful and always smiling little boy. 

I've also gone and landed myself a great job.  True, it's about a 40 minute drive from home, but well worth it.  It's a very physically demanding job, and keeps me busy.  I hurt after work most nights (which is a feeling I love).  You know burn you feel after a good workout?  That one.
Not to mention, I have a group of the most amazing, and most supportive friends anyone could ask for.

Those are some of the keys to keeping your head as straight as you can.  Depression/Anxiety won't just go away.  You need to be proactive.  Talk about it with your friends and family, and doctor.  Be active.  Keep yourself occupied.  Keep your mind away from the dark places.  It's not easy.  I failed many times in my attempts to move out of the shadows.  But, with the right amount of time, medication, and hard work, I'm at a place in my life, where Depression is in the past.  It no longer defines me.  I'm having GOOD days every day. 

You must treat Depression for what it really is:  An illness.  It's a mental illness that should be treated no differently than the common flu, Cancer, or any other commonly occurring illnesses out there.  It just happens.  We're not really sure why.  It's not a sign of weakness.  It's a sign that you're like most other people in the world.  A slight chemical imbalance in your brain.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

Keep smiling!

No Complaints!!

So, it's been a fantastic Easter weekend with my family, despite the fact that I

don't have my son here.  He is however, going to be here next weekend.  With the NEW family.... For the first time.  We're all very excited about it.

This past week has been a great week for me.  The medication are still working, and I'm still loving my job.  In all honesty, life is damned near perfect!  I love it!  I have a great job.  I have an awesome girlfriend.  We both have pretty terrific kids.  Really, what more could I ask for?

My new friend that has been having mental health issues lately seems to be

on the right track.  She's talking about it with her friends, family and teachers.  She's on the road to getting the help she requires.  I'm so happy for her.

We live in a small town, and there's still plenty of stigma about mental health here.  Particularly with the younger people; teenagers, and slightly older.  Hopefully, in the near future, everyone will get passed those stigmas.  That day isn't here yet, however.  My new friend is aware of this, but is keeping a strong face. 

Back to my fantastic weekend....  I all of my time with my family, and a few of my friends.  It was great.  I spent a bunch of time with my step-son trouble shooting some computer and Internet issues we were having at home.  It felt great teaching someone so eager to learn about technology. 


All in all, things are just fantastic for me! 

Now, I ask a favour of YOU....  Retweet this post, re-pin it, post it on Facebook, or whichever social media you use.  I want as many people out there suffering from a mental health issue to know, and to understand, that it DOES get better!  It may not seem like it today, tomorrow, or even next week, but it does.  You're life cannot get any worse.  It will ONLY get better.  Hell, I'm living proof of that. 

Keep smiling!

Still Beating The Demons

I know this week is not even half over yet, (it's Tuesday), but I feel fucking fantastic!
I've officially moved in with my girlfriend now.  I can't imagine any other place I'd rather be.  She makes me incredibly happy, and her kids are pretty f'ing cool, too.

Work is wonderful too.  I work with some pretty unique individuals.  Every day is certainly something new, and fun.


I still continue to take my medication (Cipralex) daily.  I'm not certain if I still require it, but I'm still not brave enough to go off them.  I don't want to risk going back to the dark places I was before.  That's a Hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. 

I don't want to fall into the same trap so many others have fallen victim too.  You know which trap I'm talking about.  The: "I feel so good, I don't need my meds anymore."  Then, more often than not, those people would go off their medications, (without consulting their doctor), and would be in even worse shape than they were before. 

I've said many times in the past, that I am opposed to mind altering chemicals such as SSRI's.  However, when I was at my lowest, I would have done anything to rid myself of those feelings.  I won't lie, many times I contemplated taking my own life, just to get away from those thoughts, those feelings.  Those demons that were always lurking around the corner. 
As a result, I made the choice to seek help from my family doctor.  Certainly one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I also know, that you're reading this post, or past posts and are a return reader, because you are suffering from some form of mental illness, or know someone who is.  I implore you to seek help (if you haven't already).  No one will ever judge you.  That idea is just in your mind.  Mental Illness is just as it sounds:  An illness.  There isn't a 'cure' Per Se, but there is treatment.  There's a wide range of different things you could do to help keep your illness in check:  Medication, talk therapy, exercise, etc...  It's up to you.  Everyone is different, and what treatment may work for me, may or may not work for you.  The trick is:  You have to admit you need help, and then find the help you need.

Keep smiling!

Still Going Up

In my last post, I said that I just KNEW another dark day was going to find me....  But, today wasn't that day!  I woke up from a GREAT sleep, and had a FANTASTIC day at work.  On top of all that, my parents are finally home from their two month vacation to the semi-warm south.


My wonderful girlfriend is seemingly getting more fantastic, and just plain 'fucking awesome' everyday.  She keeps going above and beyond the role of a simple girlfriend.  I'm pretty sure she's a keeper.  Or, maybe it's just because my previous girlfriend was such a terror?

Nevertheless, my life has been doing nothing but going uphill lately.  A HUGE reason for that is the positive energy that's always flowing around me.  Be it the guys at work, or my girlfriend and her kids, or, talking to, and seeing my son on a regular basis.

I really can't remember what a 'bad day' feels like.  I hope I never have to deal with those demons again, but like rain, it'll inevitably happen.

However, right now, I'm just focusing on the present.  The positive things going on in my life.  I'm still waking up nearly every morning, with a quick shot of fear, briefly wondering what sort of day I'm going to have.  In nearly a nanosecond, I know the answer.  For the last, I don't know how long, it's been a GOOD DAY.

Despite still having to deal with the actions of my past girlfriend daily, (which

isn't always as easy as I make it seem), I get by.  I try not to dwell on the darkness she willingly cast on my life.  But, that being said, I have always had one very bright shining star in that darkness, and now I have three more. 
So yes, life is looking pretty F'ing good right now. I have a good job, a wonderful and loving family (new and old) , and the dark days are becoming few and far between. 


Keep smiling!!

Movin' On Up

So, life really can't get much better for me.  I have a FANTASTIC girlfriend, for starters.  Not only is she completely supportive of me, she is for all intents and purposes, the PERFECT match for me.

Last week, I went out and bought a car.  A brand new, 2014 Honda CR-V. 

I also told you a couple weeks ago, that I started a new job?  Well, to quote George Jefferson, "I'm movin' on up".  I was asked to start training this coming weekend, for an ever so slight promotion.  But promotion nonetheless.  I also got to spend this passed weekend with my son.  You should have seen how excited he looked, when I rolled up in my new CR-V. 

Needless to say, my life is looking pretty damn perfect right now.  Despite the fact that on occasion, I'm still haunted by the choices and actions of my psycho ex-girlfriend.  She just doesn't seem to think long term.  But, that's all in the past, and, you all will get an opportunity to read about those misadventures, once I find time to sit, and finish a FACTUAL story inspired by said ex-girlfriend.

That's water under the bridge for now. 
I'm still enjoying all the time I get to spend with my girlfriend, and her family.  I feel so lucky and blessed to be a part of their lives.

As I said in earlier posts, my life just keeps getting better and better.  However, I am 100% certain a dark day will find me again.  It's on those days that I draw strength from you.  If you read what I have to say, and know the feelings I'm having, then say something.  Send me an e-mail, or a comment on here.  It's the 'Mental Health Stygma' that's stopping people from talking.  Hell, just do this.  Just write a blog.  Share your feelings with complete strangers.  Believe me, it helps.
If you don't want to talk to strangers, then turn to a friend.  You won't be judged.  And, chances are, they'll understand because they are, or know someone (else) who's going through what you're going through.


Until next time:  KEEP SMILING!!!!

No Complaints

So, it's been a fantastic week!  I have been having nothing but GOOD days!'Work is going great, (now that most of the pain is gone), and I picked up my new car (2014 CR-V) on Tuesday.


So basically, I have had NOTHING to complain about.  I'm continuing to take my prescribed medication daily.  I'm keeping busy, and my work has been quite a workout, so I've also managed to lose about 7-10 lbs over the last couple of weeks, too.

I get to spend most of this weekend with my son.  Him and I are both really looking forward to that.  On the 10th of this month, I get to go and try to rectify some of the damage my psycho douche bag ex-girlfriend of mine caused.  Other than that, life really couldn't get any better!

I'll keep you folks posted as often as I can.  Again, thanks for reading.  I've found that writing a lot of this stuff down, and sharing it, is quite good therapy.  Also, feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or Twitter, or whichever Social networking site(s) you use.

Thanks again!